Broaden Your Horizon
Assalaamu Alaikum :)
After much demand, I have decided to write yet another entry. Even though I have absolutely nothing to discuss here. My life is getting weird these days, all I can think about is "will I get into that summer course or not?!" It's frustrating *sigh* But the best will happen for me so insha'Allah, I'm good.
Allow me to express some observations of mine. I have been noticing my father's behaviour towards my 20 (soon-to-be 21, insha'Allah) year old brother who is currently with Seneca @ York University in the Digital Media Arts program. My father can be your typical desi parent and I feel that he holds some disappointment in my brother for not pursuing a career path that is so stereotypical in our culture, unfortunately. Why are you seen to be most successful if you are a doctor? A lawyer? A dentist? I admit, those are some pretty great professions but only if these individuals are pursuing it out of their own interests instead of being told that this is what they must do in order to be a name in society. It is a big pet peeve of mine. I LOVE it when people study what makes them truly happy because that is what matters in the end. You will be the one living this profession so why not enjoy what you are doing? Masha'Allah, my brother is very talented at what he does, very creative. He isn't much of a "school kid", meaning he does not do too well when it comes to school but when it concerns something that interests him and he has great skill at it, it's quite impressive what he is able to accomplish. I know he feels that he may be a somewhat failure in our father's eyes and that is what really bothers me. My dad is proud of what he is capable of but because he rarely shows it, how is my brother to feel that what he is doing, is making his father happy? It is so important for a parent to encourage their child in whatever they are interested in because you do not know what success may come out of it.
Which leads me to my next and final point. I had an interesting discussion with someone of the past that relates to this. We were discussing parent's encouraging only the specific and typical professions of today for their children. Doctors, etc are very needed in today's world, where would we be without them? But sometimes you need to look at the big picture here. Considering our Ummah, we need to focus on making it grow and become stronger so that we are able to handle whatever comes our way and maintain it. And what this individual was telling me, is that we really need to broaden our horizons, and have Muslims in every field possible so that we can make this happen. How much can we do if we are told to limit ourselves in specific areas of professions? I found this to make total sense and I completely agree ... alhamdulillah, there is so much talent among our Muslim brother's and sister's and we need to encourage one another to do as much as we can because in the end ... it will result upon our Ummah's growth, and it should only do so, positively. Insha'Allah.
Happy?! haha Wow, I praised my brother quite a bit in this entry. It's a good thing he never reads my blog hehe Anyways, I hope everyone is well insha'Allah, please remember me in your du'as that I am given permission to attend that class :( *sigh* JazaakAllahu khairaa!
posted by Squeeky @ 2:47 PM
8 Comments:
Salaam dawg ... awww, that post was so sweet. :) I'm lucky enough that my parents are proud of whatever I'm doing considering the fact I got in so much crap in elementary and high school. Don't get me started. lol I totally agree with everything you said. And you didn't get a cheap pop from me by posting any sort of dessert on your post either ... good job ... haha! Keep 'em coming. I like these type of posts. It really answers questions like ... "Who is Rafia?" :P I'm so corny, baahaha!
Umm Gabriel, that wasn't corny. That was just strange and unusual.
I think it's sad how parents sometimes have unrealistic expectations, but I don't think it can be avoided. They're your parents - they just want what's best for you :) Sometimes you may think they are narrow-minded, but they're so much more experienced, so respecting their views is really important.
Then again, I think all parents expect to be disappointed in some ways. My dad wanted me to go into engineering, he was really set on it. But I just couldn't. So he was disappointed, but he's fine with what I'm studying now.
The question is, am I fine with what I'm studying? :P
Strange and unusual? I'll get you for that one. But yeah, I get what you mean. The parents need to balance those expectations out with reality though. They need to show some understanding that not everything will turn out the way they want. I'm sure when I become a parent -- bahahaaha! yeah right -- I would expect my son to be an NBA superstar and my daughter to be a Major League Baseball powerhitter the likes they have never seen before ... but I really need to keep in touch with reality. Wurrdd? Alright, good. I need sleep.
Assalaamu Alaikum sillies :P
CM/Gabe
haha I would have posted desserts if I had made any lately! Maybe I should do that, and make you drool! *evil laughter* and thanks :)
Asmaa:
Oh I agree with you ... parent's definitely know what is best and sometimes you never really understand until you have children of your own. They really are only looking out for your best interests. :)
Aww I hope you get into that class!! Email the professor and ask if you can get in (say you're in your last year) or keep trying the system every second you get!
It sounds as though your brother is really talented. It's good to hear that he's doing something that makes him happy because there's so many people who don't and that's such a waste. Your dad might be scared that he won't find a job but I'm sure deep down he's really impressed with your brother for taking a chance. Now he just needs to find a fabulous job so he can prove everyone he did the right thing!
I think every parent has an ambition for their son/daughter and they become disappointed when things don't go as planned. However, as parents, they eventually come to the realization that the son/daughter can still be successful at what they do.
I know for my kids I won't care which program they go into - as long as they strive to be the best at what they do.
'liya:
Thank you sooo much! I'm still trying :/ I have been emailing the profs but due to the limited courses this summer, a lot of people are in my position *cries*
Nauman:
Yes that's true, all parent's have some sort of expectation that they would have hoped their child could fulfill ... I guess we should just do what we can to make them happy and proud of us, insha'Allah
Oh my god Did you actually make a post. Awww.. How nice of you.
Good post, and I am sure one day you will make a good parent:) hehe.
And I am Happy my parents don't put me down. Actually, I am mad THEY DON'T CARE what I do. I mean seriously I always see them telling my brothers do this do that... but for me Never.. I feel left out:(. How come they don't bother me with this kind of stuff. Hmmm... Maybe I haven't given the opportunity to feel that..which would be a good thing. I hope that is it.
On another note, a parent must realize what their children are capable of. I have two brothers, and I know my younger one is really weak in school, so we don't have much expectation of him being a doctor, lawyer etc. He can do whatever he want as long as it is decent and he likes it.
My other brother is capable of doing so much. But being an idiot he doesn't do anything, he still has to get mature about a career before he misses the train.
Wow - I just wrote a blog in your comment box. I seriously need a life. And just for that I am going to leave my self Anonymous. Can you guess who it is Rafia?
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