It Starts Young
Assalaamu Alaikum :)
I have made some observations of the students since I started working at the school ...
One of them was finding out how the parents of these children can pressure such young minds when it comes to their education. The other day, I had a 4th grade student approach me, eyes filled with tears and fear, because she did not complete her homework. She was afraid of what her teacher would say (who is already pretty stict about homework) and what her parent's would think once they found out. Apparently it was her second time doing something like this.
It was clear to me that she is pressured about bringing home very good grades and I feel it is bringing her self-esteem down because she says she is surrounded by intelligent people in her family and she does not seem to compare to them. Her mother continuously tells her to be the "star student of the classroom" and it is something she really wants to achieve. If she does not, she feels she would let her mother down.
She was pouring her heart out to me and I felt sad for her because at such a young age, she already had so much on her mind. So I tried to console her and explain that if these were the goals she was determined to meet, then it would happen for her insha'Allah. All she has to do is try her best.
One of my students, aged 4, was telling me one day that his mother told him that he has to do really good in school so that when he gets older, he can make lots and lots of money haha
I agree that children should understand the importance of education because it will make them successful in the days to come, but I do not appreciate how parents will pressure such young minds. I know most people have had their parent's question their marks if it did not reach the 100% level. A student would come home with a 98% and instead of their parents beaming with happiness ... they will wonder "what happened to the other 2%?" I had many of my friends tell me that. I just don't agree with this.
Alhamdulillah, I never felt such pressure with my parents. My mother always told us to do our best and if we did happen to struggle with something, we should not hesitate to seek help so we could improve ourselves. I carried that with me throughout my school days knowing that I just had to do my best and alhamdulillah, I turned out to be a real good student when it came to marks.
Every individual is different and I feel it is the parent's duty to understand their children and speak to them about marks and education accordingly. Some people naturally have the ability to understand certain material that other's may not. There are other children who may need a little more help to understand. And if to that child, they are pressured to bring excellent marks immediately ... it is not fair to the child.
Children are precious. And at a young age, they take in everything anyone says. A child should always be encouraged in a positive way and reminded that their parents will always be proud of them. You'd be surprised of how much a child could accomplish with simple words of encouragement like that.
EDIT:
My DESSERT COOKBOOK just came in! And it teaches me how to make MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM! .... I am in heaven *faint*
posted by Squeeky @ 12:35 AM
6 Comments:
Walaikum Salom Wa Rahmatullah,
>Apparently it was her second time >doing something like this.
?!?!? Like, does not that tell you something.
Allahu Alam, what were the reasons behind both incidents that caused the girl not to do her homework it could be legit or not, but you have to realize that maybe the girl is to blame than the parents (or not, I'm just saying keep all options open)
You are refering to 2 different subjects, which altough connected are still different.
One is when parents unfairly pressure their kids, which I do agree with you.
The second issue is not completing their work on time; What has that got to do with parents pressuring their kids. Homework is not given by the parents but by the teacher, so how can you blame the parents for that?
The girl was worried because the teacher might complain to the parents that she did not do her work, so again blame the teacher not the parents! :)
Or more fairly find out why the girl did not do her work on time for the second time and then go accordingly.
One big issue I find in Muslims today is the lack of punctuality, we should teach our kids to do things on time and prioritize everything. So if homework needs to be done, then it needs to be done on time. As a teacher would you not agree to that?
Assalaamu Alaikum :)
Truth:
Oh yes, I do agree on the punctuality of work which is expected to be done by the teacher. I mentioned the homework thing because her conversation began with that and evolved into something more. She was of course lectured by me about the importance of homework and completing work when told to. You need to have responsibility. Masha'Allah from what I have observed, she is a hardworker and aiming to meet her goals and unfortunately, she has come across only two incidents so far where her homework could not be done. We've all been there.
I just wrote the thoughts that were in my mind, that's all :) I have been hearing a lot of how the parent's discuss matters with their children (and even seen it) and it bothered me a little.
JazaakAllahu khairaa for your comment!
Here's my take: Islamic school costs. It's expensive. When you're paying for such expensive education you should be bringing home the best marks that you can no matter what the age. Otherwise why pay for this education? It is expected that the child do well and the child should if he/she understands that their parents are paying for "better" education. But that's the problem, sadly it isn't better education.
If the child isn't doing well because they don't understand the material, it's the fault of the teacher and the child. Not the parents. The teacher is responsible for getting the material through to the child AT SCHOOL, the child for learning it AT SCHOOL! Homework shouldn't be an issue at that age - in fact at the grade 4 level students shouldn't even be bringing home a lot of work. Work should be finished in school and if it isn't, again, it's a reflection of the teacher and his/her teaching practises. I'm not saying to never assign homework, but it's just that I've noticed that many Islamic school teachers love sending home things that haven't even been TAUGHT at school and they expect the parents to help the child. The teacher is being lazy. Home is family time, extra - curricular activity time, and should NOT be always expected for homework time (things they didn't have time to teach in class), especially for that age.
Anyways, I have a lot of problems with the Islamic school system so yeah I could go on with this for a long time. Hmm, this topic makes me very upset, I should do a post about it too.
your pink font still hurts my eyes.
The pressure to be successful can be overbearing for some kids yet if you don't pressure them, they can become complacent with lower marks... it's a double-edged sword it seems.
'liya:
That's something I still don't understand. The amount of homework these students receive. One of my student's mother was telling me to send his son homework often ... and I'm thinking ... "homework in Kindergarten?" It was odd but I'll send something fun and educational now and then. I don't want it to be a frequent thing because these kids do so much in school already. They do a lot of work for 4-5 year olds!
Umar:
I have a solution for you. Copy the text and paste it into a writing program. And don't say that's too much work because, I'm worth it **L'Oreal**
Nauman:
I agree with you ... that is one pointy sword.
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